DECEMBER Ohh December..

Tak sangka. Sangat-sangat tak sangka yang kehidupan saya berubah *hampir 360 darjah + 100%* untuk tahun ni. Tahun lepas lain, dan tahun ni lain. Alhamdulillah, sebenarnya ALLAH bagi kehidupan yang lebih baik dan dalam masa yang sama semakin mencabar. Iya, dan kita kena matang dalam melihat kehidupan ini. :) Inilah kehidupan. Kita melalui setiap fasa yang berbeza. Usahakan yang terbaik, doa dan tawakkal and the end result? Let ALLAH decide. :)

DISEMBER. Bulan terakhir dalam kalender masihi. Bulan kelahiran saya. Dan tahun ni different sikit, since this is the last month in my current semester. Ohh belajar juga sangat mencabar. Dulu during my undergrad, tak pernah stay up sangat. But, of course dah masuk next stage macam postgrad ni have to lah kan. Semakin high level, so semakin banyak dan tinggi expectation lah. Sabar dan sabar cik Alip a.k.a cik Muza!

Currently I'm alone at this lovely small room. :) As usual my roommate going back. Yela orang dah bersuami tak sama macam orang bujang. Kan..kan.. At this hour (3.56am KUL time), I tengah working on my assignment. Setiap hari sejak December ni purata waktu tidur saya lebih kurang 3-4 jam. Alhamdulillah. Sekurang-kurangnya dapat tidur jugak kan.. :)

By looking around and saw the empty bed on Ain's bed, I tetiba jadi sunyi and slowly rasa umm.. *entahlah susah nak cakap*. Well, actually I'm not alone. HE is always with me. Looking at me and listen to all my duas. Kan? Suddenly something cross in my mind. Teringat last few weeks I had a dream. And it was about me and Madam Ain. Dalam mimpi tu Ain tanya saya on my health condition. And i said, I'm not feeling well. And lately my health is so unpredictable. Sometimes it was so good, and some other time it worst..Terus je dia papah saya untuk duduk. But suddenly she's disappear. I wonder kan, humm memang lepas ni I kena berdikari. Hehe sebab akan selalu ditingglkan oleh Puan Ain (we all panggil dia Farah Lee. Sebab ada iras Farah Lee). 

This is Puan Ain and me during her wedding day. Credit to one of my bestfriends, Mirul for this picture. Me, in a tired look while the bride is so lovely and beautiful. :) Aihh macam saya plak yang busy dengan preparation of the wedding. ;)

Okay, sambung semula. Humm by right, takpelah. Allah ada and I'm not alone. :) ALLAH kan ade.. :) Tapi dalam mimpi tu ada sambungan dia tau. Once Ain disappear, datang seorang yang tak dikenali (lelaki ajnabi) lalu papah saya. And i refused. Yela bukan mahram, dosa. So i said politely thanks him and told him, tak apalah. i okay and no worries. He seems so worried on me, but i said its okay. i'm just fine. Then it ends there. Mungkin ada yang nk mendekati, tapi again i refuse. Why? maybe sebab i tak berkenan dengan cara dan approachnya. Entahlah. Yela suppose macam mana sekali pun lelaki-Perempuan yang bukan mahram kena jaga batas pergaulan kan. Humm punyalah nak menjaga, sampai dalam mimpi pun terbawa-bawa. :) Sometimes i felt funny too. Macam-macam lah saya ni. Macam tu pun boleh mimpi. 

Apa pun, hope today and on wards will be better for me. And i pun nak jadi someone better from time to time, In Shaa ALLAH. December, my birthday. I akan ade final presentation on my day. :) Celebration? Humm i think i dont need it. Just my wish, hope at one fine year, I can celebrate with my husband. Itulah impian saya yang belum kesampaian. Dulu berangan nak celebrate dengan someone, tapi ALLAH tak izinkan :). Takpe mungkin ada perancangan yang lebih baik nanti :).

December akan berakhir jugak. And while winter always froze i hope the springs will cheer me up again. That's life, there are ups and downs. :) Thank you ALLAH.

Loves and sincere,

Cik Alip a.k.a Cik Muza